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Who are these people?
Louie Proprietor
When asked for his bio, Louie's response was "Waddaya, writing a book? Leave that chapter out." We know that his parents met at a toga party in Schaumberg, Illinois in the mid-1970s, and that Louie was raised by his grandparents in Santa Rosa, New Mexico, home of the famous "Blue Hole" artesian spring. Today, Louie lives "somewhere west of the Rockies" and runs Monkey Spit in his spare time. Nobody knows what he does for a living. Children are frightened by him.
Craig Kemper Writer, The Fourth Wall
A chronic hater of all things vegetable, Craig grew up in a small town in Oregon, which was once famous for watermelon, but now boasts a glorious chemical weapons disposal site. Depending on whom you talked to, he was the class clown or the shy wallflower. Sometimes he was simply known as 'that bastard.' He spent his childhood collecting comic books, playing tennis, evading blame, and spending all his lunch money on video games at 7-11. In high school, Craig perfected a method of getting free games on pinball machines by sticking two Super Big Gulp straws together.
Craig fell into college with absolutely no idea what he wanted to do, and wound up having three different majors over seven years. During that time, Craig worked as an editor for his college newspaper. Working at the newspaper taught him most of his life lessons. Respect your deadlines. Treat others kindly. Don't date coworkers. Power corrupts. Wax is hot. He intends to write a series of graphic novels about the experience one day. He just needs to find an artist that's willing to draw several hundred pages of college kids being stupid and obscene with absolutely no spandex action scenes. He's willing to pay you. Come on, what are you waiting for?!!
Since graduating in 1998 with a degree in computer programming, Craig has been writing computer software, getting married, and procreating. He collects Transformers, loves Spam, and has never learned how to properly drive a stick shift. He can remember conversations from childhood, but often forgets what channel he was last watching on TV. So far, Craig's biggest brush with fame involved Jay Leno holding up a picture of him standing with some worried looking sheep on The Tonight Show. One day he hopes to be famous enough to horribly embarrass Joan Rivers on the red carpet. His goal in life is to become a successful writer, a good dad, and a coal miner. Craig's wife thinks he's the sexiest man on the planet, next to Harrison Ford.
Jim MacQuarrie Artist, The Fourth Wall
On a chilly gray October morning, one year after Sputnik was launched and four months before Buddy Holly died, Jim MacQuarrie, the second son of the guy who ran the Tilt-a-Whirl at the state fair, was born. A paying job drawing cartoons for the Los Angeles Kings booster club at age 14 convinced him that this art stuff was an effective way to avoid working for a living and turned his interests away from his previous career of vandalizing vending machines.
Several years of well-deserved obscurity followed, during which he designed patches for outlaw biker gangs, sculpted little clay bunny rabbits for craft shops, twisted balloon animals at birthday parties, and appeared onstage as a killer pygmy, a dinosaur and a British housemaid. After a brief stint creating t-shirt designs for Corona Beer, he moved on to such projects as illustrating the Hooked on Phonics reading program. His experience includes 3-D modeling and computer animation, telemarketing (selling fraudulent investments), coloring comic books, website design, dressing in a chicken suit, photo retouching, and airbrush painting. He has never learned to juggle.
Jim carries a "Get Out of Jail Free" card in his wallet in case he is ever arrested. He can't whistle, but he has correctly used the word "encephaloplegia" in a sentence. Among his influences are Jack Cole, Penn & Teller, Kitty Genovese, Professor Fate, Harry Chapin, and Bill Watterson. Jim has been caller number nine and won the concert tickets. His interests include fencing, cow-tipping, duck-bowling, and archery. He has no tattoos, and his lifelong ambition is to be a curmudgeon.
Alex Cox Writer/Artist, My Stupid Life
Alex Cox is a writer and designer from Tennessee. He has a great head of hair. Curly, thick, tawny blonde... women love it and men admire it. If Apollo himself stepped down from the heavens, he could only hope to have such hair. Aside from wonderful hair, Alex is mostly useless. My Stupid Life is Alex's autobiography. All you need to know about him can be found there.
Matt Eckert Writer, Levi Larrington is Still at Large
I would like to formally introduce myself. My name is Matt Eckert , I am 26 years of age, and live with my mother. I am currently employed as a janitorial consultant for a large retailer. I don't want to scare anyone with my incredible sense of comedy, but, I am a pro and would like you to enjoy my wit as a fully educated purveyor of comedic arts.
My record thus far (speaks for itself):1993: Made an off-hand remark about Bill Clinton and his marijuana abuse at an Arby's in Seattle. Result: Overwhelming laughter.
1994: Made the quip that if Sammy (my boss) knew so much about indoor pipe moldings, he should go to one of Ed's (janitorial assistant) hash parties. Result: Laughs had by all. Another win for Matt Eckert.
1997: While taking a fine woman-friend out to Schlotzky's I was heard to comment "boy, it's hotter than a pair of boots that have sat out in the sun too long at an Oklahoma concert." Result: Very awkward half an hour that I do not wish to relate.
The point is that my record speaks for itself, and I hope you will accept mewith the tribute you would give to a Carrot Top or Pauly Shore.
Dave Suharski Writer/Artist, UGH!
After visiting the Monkey Spit website while going to the local zoo to watch friendly and intelligent monkeys toss doo-doo crap at the guest, this cartoonist knew Monkey Spit was a perfect place to pitch his useless primitive comic strip, UGH! So when you get a chance, re-discover the world with some prehistoric caveman fun! Right here, exclusively at Monkey Spit! Then take a look at Dave's other comic.
Jeremy Drew Artist, Mama's Boy, The Rules, and Divinity
Ever since he was a young boy, Jeremy knew he wanted to grow up and draw comic books. For years, he created super heroes, villains, monsters, demons, planets, space ships, and so on. Through grade school, middle school, high school, and college he kept his goal. He went to a small local college and entered the Fine Arts program to gain a bachelor's degree. Six years later, he graduated and started his career as a professional comic book artist... not getting paid at all.
A few of Jeremy's many influences are Albrecht Durer, Michael Crichton, Dean Koontz, Ron Lim, George Lucas, Cristo, Tom Clancy, and many, many others.
Jeremy is currently working on other projects with MPH Comics.If you see Jeremy on the street, please give him a buck.
His website is www.geocities.com/drewjs01us/ Dave Perillo Writer/Artist, Abbey & Squirrel
Dave Perillo, a graduate of Cabrini College with a degree in graphic design, was born and raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia. His work is heavily influenced by pop artists such as Roy Lichtenstein and Andy Warhol, along with a steady diet of comic books, video games and a hearty helping of Hanna Barbera cartoons. His work "Abbey and Squirrel: Toad Trip" is a 3 part story loosely based on actual events that occurred when he and his friend made a trek to California to ride Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Any questions, inquiries, and the like can be directed to montygog@juno.com
Mike Satterthwaite Writer/Artist, The American Ream
Mike Satterthwaite is a graphic designer, cartoonist, and illustrator wholives in the woods like the unibomber. Currently the woods of Pennyslvaniawhere, as everyone knows, the zombies will attack first. He is a devout beer drinker whose big dream in life is to someday "Thank Jesus Christ for this award."
Chris Kohler Writer/Artist, Wanna Buy A Mattress? and A Word From Our Sponsor
Chris Kohler is a 1994 graduate of San Jose State's Art department who bucked art student trends by basing nearly all his work (illustrations, paintings, sculpture) on comic book characters, and still graduated Cum Laude. He's loved comic books ever since he could hold one, and has completed the full cycle of 'read casually/read, bag, and board obsessively/read casually' in the last twenty-five years.
His work has ranged from simple pin ups of his favorite superheroes, to cheesy wish-fulfillment stories with characters based on his social circle, to Crumb/Pekar style autobio. More of his work (along with the work of others) can be seen at www.comicpagesonline.org. For a living, Chris toils daily as a hybrid systems-administrator/graphic & layout artist/marketing stooge.
Chris's current influences include: Robert Crumb, Harvey Pekar, Frank Zappa, Joe Sacco, George Perez, Woody Allen, John Buscema, Alex Cox, Jaime & Gilbert Hernandez, Dennis Fujitake, Brian Wilson, and William Shatner.
He can juggle.
Sean Hutchinson Writer/Artist, Hutch University
Sean Hutchinson grew up in a town known for its antique shoppes. To counteract this potentially boring existence, Sean immersed himself in comics at a young age. Realizing early his inherent knack for mocking everything, he would create countless parodies of songs and comics, such as the infamous Hex Men, starring Lambit, Slyfox, and the Yeast, among others. Alas, such early efforts at comic genius have been lost, succumbing to the black hole-like properties of his room.
Sean, or "Hutch" as he likes to be called when pretending he's cool, is currently in college for chemical engineering. He has aspirations to one day ply his trade as a "street pharmacist." He usually speaks with an inordinate amount of Z's, constantly wears an orange hat, curses so much he makes sailors blush, and believes that he is a totally sweet ninja. In conclusion, Sean would like to thank the trees, for without their selfless sacrifice, we would not have the paper on which comics are printed, and that would be a sad world indeed.
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