By Matt Eckert

Orgy of Death

Black Guy: So, what do you think really went down there in Jenin?

White Guy: Christ, how should I know. I'm hearing it was a massacre and then I'm hearing that they're pulling bodies from existing graves to make it look like a massacre...is nothing sacred?

Black Guy: Why don't they just unearth Jesus and Moses and show the damn zealots that they were FUCKING HUMANS and not super heroes? I could finally get back to spanking it to porn without wondering whether it's gonna be the last time.

Black Guy: So, what ever happened to that thirteen-foot-tall supervillain Osama?

White Guy: Beats me, apparently we're searching Pakistan in the vain hope that he'll present himself on a camel with flowers.

Black Guy: Christ, I wonder if he's still in his underground bunker with Dr. Colossus and Dick Cheney.

White Guy: Isn't Elvis up in there as well?

View Picture of Osama, Dick Cheney, Voltron, Funyon, Al Gore, Tampon, and Elvis in cave.

Black Guy: Hey, I just realized I have Funyon's cell number, should I see how he's doing?

White Guy: Bah! I have no time to play folklore with you, I have to address the GOP today on the criminal intent of coded messages within the corporation's latest spreadsheet.

Black Guy: Hello, Funyon? How's it going, you got any more reefer for me?

Funyon: I got some weed.

Black Guy: Well, can you lay it on me, old man?

Funyon: At present I'm working with the new Justice League of the 9th concentric circle of Dante's Inferno to overthrow the world.

Black Guy: Christ, I can't even buy weed anymore without this silly shit.

Voltron: CHENEY, LEADER OF THE AMERICAN WAY, WHAT BOMBS HAVE YOU BROUGHT FORTH?

Dick Cheney: Well, let's see here; I got bunker busters, MX, DX, dirty, and nuclear.

Voltron: VERY WELL, Funyon, LET"S SMOKE THE PEACE PIPE AND DELIVER OUR ARSENEL OF GOD THE FATHER, THE ONLY FATHER, THE BOMB ABOVE THAT MAKETH THE EARTH LIE DOWN WITH THE DEAD.

Funyon: I got some weed.

Tampon: finally, I'll be able to find a purpose!

Elvis: Could you pass those Funyons?

Black Guy: So, I guess Tampon is doing well, he called to say that he's bringing an orgy of death upon the Earth.

White Guy: Really, World War 2 orgy of death, or Vietnam orgy of death?

Black Guy: Beats me, but, apparently Voltron has been using Hasbro to fund it.

White Guy: Good Christ, my kid was complaining today about his Pokeman trying to assault him.

Black Guy: (To himself) Is there some sort of wormhole I fell through last September?

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