By Matt Eckert

Warheads Found in Iraq: U.S. Base

Terry Freely
AB News

Today in a startling discover, the United Nations has found large numbers of weapons of mass destruction in Northern Iraq. Specifically, in a United States military base.

Chief U.N. Inspector Hans Blix related the findings. "We have, in fact, found the smoking gun. Hundreds of chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons have been found in Iraq. It is time for Iraq to come clean or face international forces."

A cheery George Bush told reporters "I cannot be more happy that the U.N. inspections have finally found the weapons I knew were always there. It's like I told the old man the other day, 'Pop, I have intimate knowledge of the weapons in Iraq, even more so than Hussein himself.'"

The weapons were found in and around a United States military base this morning around 9 PM EST.

"We had been inspecting some empty warheads in Baghdad in the early morning, when we received a call from a man calling himself 'Deeper Throat.' The man, or woman, they could have disguised their voices, explained that 'We must be vigilant, make no mistake, the weapons of mass destruction are in..' and then he related the coordinates to the U.S. military installations in Northern Iraq. Within hours we were led by U.S. forces to their base of operations where we were stunned to discover Baghdad had been lying."

When asked what will become of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, Blix said "Well, we'll probably leave that to the Americans."

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