Rant-Man's Notebook

By Jim "Rant-Man" MacQuarrie

Happy New Year!

Well, so far this year is off to a better start than the last one. I'm not in jail, for one. Let's see if it'll stay on track.

I broke with tradition for the first time in a very long while. Our usual New Year's tradition for the last 17 years has been to stay home, eat junk food and watch movies all night. This year we went to a party. It was fun, and I enjoyed visiting with the friends that we don't see often enough, but I think next year we'll go back to our tradition. We'll just have to arrange for a party some time between Christmas and New Year's so we can see everybody, and then have our normal New Year's night.

Why? Because I didn't get to see any of the movies I'd missed this year, didn't get my traditional New Year's toast with root beer floats, didn't get to bundle up on the floor in my jammies with my kids, and didn't get to avoid Dick Clark and the ball dropping in Times Square. I kind of like the feeling of suddenly realizing that it's 1:20 AM and the old year has quietly slipped away unnoticed. There's a strange and mystical calm about finding that you're an hour or so into the new year before you realized it was here. I'm funny that way; it's not a disappointment to me at all. It's magic.

But despite that, we enjoyed the party. It was at Bill's house. You remember Bill; he came up with the Misfortune Cookie for us, along with the idea for the Manatee page and a couple of other things along the way. Bill's wife, Marlene (a faithful follower of your humble scribe's blatherings) put out a nice spread of food and hospitality, we played Cranium (a fun game you ought to pick up), conversed about various inconsquential topics, and welcomed the new year with party poppers and noisemakers, in the normal way.

My pal Wally was there. He brought my usual Christmas present from his mother. See, about 20 years ago, I was over at Wally's place around Christmas time, and his mom had a bunch of candy canes on the table, so I ate one. Then I ate another, and another, and more as the afternoon turned to evening and then into the night, while we watched some goofy thing on TV, maybe UFO Diapolon, the only anime show I ever got into. Anyhow, Wally's mom came home and was good and pissed to find that I had eaten her centerpiece. "Jim! You ate all my candy canes!"

I protested that I hadn't eaten ALL of them, just MOST of them, but it was to no avail. Finally, I knew I had to rectify the situation, so I went down to the Long's Drug store and bought up a big pile of candy canes. Little ones, big ones, a freakin' HUGE one. I filled a grocery bag with candy canes, went back over to Wally's, and dumped them on the kitchen table. "There! Candy Canes! Now we're even!" Ever since then, just about every Christmas, I get at least a couple of dozen candy canes from her. Usually fun flavored ones. This year they were Hawaiian Punch, root beer, and hot cinnamon.

All in all, it was a good new year's. But I still want my tradition back.

Another tradition that I routinely ignore is that of the New Year's Resolution. I never make them. I think that such resolutions are things one ought to do all year long, and besides, I know I'll never keep them. Last year, I had intended to get my other site, The Harp and Thistle, back on schedule and updated regularly. It hasn't happened. I've been working on some of the backstage architecture, but the content hasn't changed at all in the whole year, except for a couple of pages of new stuff. If I had made a New Year's Resolution to do it, I'd be depressed right now. Instead I'm merely mildly diasappointed. I'll get to it.

Yesterday was a wasted day. I slept late and missed the flyover. We live close enough to the Rose Parade to see the planes when they fly over the route at the start of the parade. Usually they have a plane or two, like the B-2 Stealth Bomber or a couple of the Stealth Fighters, but this year there was supposed to be a bunch of different planes, to celebrate the 100th anniversary of manned flight. I didn't see it. Got up around ten, sat on the sofa and watched TV Land with the kids (they showed the first episodes of a bunch of sitcoms), worked on the templates for the new Harp and Thistle layout (see, I told you I'd get to it), and didn't post the Wednesday updates until about 5 o'clock. What the hell, it's New Year's, cut me some slack, okay?

and now I have to go to work and diligently serve my Corporate Masters. Happy New Year!

Rant-Man's Archives

Send this article to a friend!

Discuss this on the Rant-Man's Notebook Message Board

E-mail Rant-Man.

All rights not expressly granted to others are reserved to Monkey Spit. This product is made by hand. As such, certain irregularities may occur. These irregularities do not in any way diminish the product, and are in fact desirable as evidence of the handmade nature of the product. This product is meant for educational purposes only. No other warranty expressed or implied. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Not valid in Minnesota, Vermont, Louisiana or Delaware. Some assembly required. Use only as directed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult your physician. Subject to change without notice. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. One size fits all. Colors may, in time, fade. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. We are also not responsible for the current political situation, daytime television talk shows, the heartbreak of psoriasis or that Urkel kid. As a matter of fact, we are not responsible for much; we¹re pretty irresponsible any way you look at it...but we¹re cheerful, so people put up with us. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles, but an incredible simulation. Don¹t try this at home; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Falling rock. Kilroy was here. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Some equipment shown is optional. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No dogs or actors allowed. First pull up, then pull down. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous and subsequent notices unless indicated otherwise. All rights reserved.