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By Jim "Rant-Man" MacQuarrie More Super-Simpsons and an Election Note...Before we get to the Super-Simpsons, may I just say that many of my neighbors are idiots? Tuesday was Election Day here. As is usually the case, there were several judges' seats up for grabs. As is usually the case, not a lot of people bothered to vote for them. But that isn't what makes my neighbors idiots. Let's look at one of the candidates for Office 122, one Mr. Robert Davenport, who lists his occupation as "Disabled Veteran/Attorney" and whom I swear I am not making up. I don't know how much salary the position of Disabled Veteran pays, but it must be pretty good if it gets top billing over Attorney. Or maybe he's going for the sympathy vote or the patriot vote or both. Anyway, according to his Candidate Information page, Davenport's "Top Priorities if Elected" are as follows:
Did you see anything in there about his qualifications to be judge or his approach to the law or how he would perform as a Judge of the Superior Court? Don't worry, it gets better. Let's look at his Political Philosophy: Los Angeles County is 40 percent Catholic, and 55 percent Protestant, and yet this 95 percent of the population is not reflected in the ethnic diversity of judges in the Los Angeles Superior Court. Judges are elected in California for a reason, and that reason is to reflect the ethnic diversity of the population of the state. In addition, Los Angeles has one of the largest veterans populations in the country, with 600,000 veterans, yet where is their representation on the bench? If you elect me, you help to increase the ethnic diversity of judges in Los Angeles County, by increasing these under-represented groups in Los Angeles County, to more accurately reflect the ethnic diversity of the county. So, Davenport's political philosophy is that he should be a Superior court judge because of his religion and his military status, two completely irrelevant factors. Notice he says "Judges are elected in California for a reason, and that reason is to reflect the ethnic diversity of the population of the state." That is utter nonsense. Judges are elected so that the people of California can choose the people who will make important decisions about things that seriously impact their lives. Reflecting the ethnic diversity of the state is of far less importance than the ability to cut through complicated arguments and make fair and thoughtful rulings. Let's move on to Mr. Davenport's Endorsements. See who is supporting him in this quest.... I was not endorsed by the Los Angeles Times. An examination of the endorsements by the Los Angeles Times, reveal that not a single African American, Catholic, or Protestant candidate was endorsed by the Los Angeles Times for judge. When I was approached by the Los Angeles Times, they refused to interview me over the telephone, they insisted that I come to their offices for the interview. As anyone who has been involved in racial discrimmination knows, this is a standard tactic for those who want to "check you out." Judges are elected in California for a reason, and that reason is to reflect the ethnic diversity of the state. I urge the voters of this county to reject, en masse, all of the recommendations of the Los Angeles Times, which are obviously racially biased. One voter has created a poll on this issue: http://snappoll.com/poll/93832.php So, his endorsements are, well, zero. What he offers instead is a reason to reject the endorsement his opponent received from the Los Angeles Times, which he claims was racially motivated. It's certainly not because he's, like, not qualified. His poll, which "one voter" (most likely named Robert Davenport) has created is a hoot as well. The question: (Choose one) Of course it could be that many of the judges and candidates are in fact Catholic or Protestant; they just never made it a factor in their campaign, preferring to run on their qualifications. But I guess you have to use what you have. So, let's review: This guy demonstrates that he has no idea about the purpose and function of a Superior Court judge, and his top priority if elected is to promote his own religion in the most trivial and irrelevant way possible, by attempting to have it officially represented on the city seal, which, by the way, is something over which a Superior Court Judge would have no control in the first place. Do you want this guy trying your lawsuits and hearing your criminal cases when he demonstrates such poor reasoning abilities? So, getting to the point, here's why my neighbors are idiots: 236,869 people voted for this clown. His opponent beat him, thank God, garnering 384,018 votes. But still, I find it a little disturbing that a man with absolutely no qualifications to be judge, with no endorsements and the most absurd campaign statements one would imagine could walk away with 38 percent of the vote. Obviously, a whole bunch of people went "eenie meenie miney moe" and chose at random. Or they saw that his name was listed first and assumed that meant he was the best. (Ballot positions are assigned by lottery because some people think just that, and being first on the ballot is usually good for about a 10% bump in the vote. Anyway, good going, idiot neighbors. You almost elected a complete incompetent as one of your judges. If you can't be bothered to look up information about what you're voting on, please for the love of God stay home. All right, I got that out of my system. Now to move on to something more fun. Remember last week, I posted some great custom Simpsons figures? Well, I have more. Check it out: More Simpsons Heroes!First, last week I forgot Lenny. Understandable, since he's dressed as the Invisible Kid. Here he is....
As somebody said last week, "Greg White wins the internet." If you like these, send your comments to dale@monkeyspit.net. Or post on our forums, which are finally working again. Link below.
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