Succeed in business!
Enter politics and WIN!
Live the life you've always wanted!
Tired of paying your taxes, treating your employees right, being nice to babies, and feeling trapped by your uncontrollable urge to be nice to old ladies?
Your prayers have been answered! Breakthroughs in laser brain surgery have given freedom to hundreds of successful, high profile people. Over the last 20 years, this proven and safe procedure has been performed exclusively at the Dr. G. Gekko Conscience Laser Center, by Dr. G. Gekko, a leading brain modification surgeon. Dr. Gekko holds numerous degrees including doctorates in micro surgery, neurology, physiology, and psychology. His list of satisfied clients has grown exponentially since the mid 1980's.
Dr. Gekko has perfected a procedure he calls Conscience Removal. Through years of study, Dr. Gekko has isolated the part of the brain that controls ethics, morals, manners and all social responsibility. One quick snip and that pesky conscience is gone forever. Pursue that career in politics! Seduce someone's spouse! Sell toxic waste to children! You could even become CEO of a multinational corporation! The world is your oyster when you never have to spend a tortured night, staring at the ceiling, wracked with guilt!
Conscience Removal surgery is a simple process. The brain's frontal lobes, especially the right side, regulate the higher brain functions such as social interaction, morals and ethics. Antisocial behavior is controlled by brain physiology. However, the brain's development is controlled by experiences. This means that morals and ethics are learned behaviors, which must be learned in childhood before the myelin sheath of the nerves develops in the frontal lobes. This sheath is formed over the nerve synapses that are used most frequently, and the unused synapses atrophy. Eventually, antisocial behavior becomes less a choice and more a hardwired response.
If you've had the horrible misfortune of being raised by loving parents, who taught you compassionately about right and wrong, Dr. Gekko can save you! Conscience Removal surgery can free you from the constraints of your upbringing, so you can achieve the success you deserve!
Very few actually! Through the use of surgical lasers, Dr. Gekko can pinpoint the damaged areas of your brain with microscopic precision. With a 99% success rate, Conscience Removal is safer than taking a Tylenol! Minor side effects include dyslexia, mild stuttering, bladder leak, hand swelling, and slightly elevated homicidal tendencies. All of these pale in comparison to the ulcers, nights of insomnia, and unrelenting guilt you'd normally endure as you attempt to dominate the planet.
At the Dr. G. Gekko Conscience Laser Center, we have a large list of clients who are proud of their newfound freedom. Some of our most successful clients include Bob Guccione, Martha Stewart, Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell, George W. Bush (we took a little too much off the top here, but he seems okay), O.J. Simpson, and many others! See the celebrity endorsements on the right.
Are you ready to take the world by the horns? Call Dr. G. Gekko Conscience Laser Center today, where piece of mind is precious!
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