From the makers of Bat’leth!
(It slices! It dices! It makes red shirts cry like babies!)

Fanboy Enterprises is honored to bring you…

That’s right, warriors, this new instructional video series will teach you all the standard ritual dances!

Defeat the mysteries of the…

 (Fire Dance)
 (Dance of Pain)
 (Bat’leth Dance)
 (Duel Dance)
 (Mating Dance)

…and many more!

It’s as easy as impaling a Starfleet captain!

Each video comes with a stain proof mat, with all the footprints of the dance burned into the non-skid, burlap surface. Guaranteed to stand up to years of steel toed stomping!

But that’s not all!

Act now, and you’ll learn all the moves the young, inexperienced warriors are using to attract willful females to submit to a little dishonorable mating before battle!
Master the…

 (The Hustle)
 (Electric Slide)

…and that’s just for starters!

No warrior is truly fulfilled without conquering the fine art of dance!

Whether you’re looking to raise the ridges of that certain someone to join your House, or you just want to not be dishonored at your wedding after the toast of blood wine, Klingon Interpretive Dance is for you!

Your name and victories on the dance floor will be spoken of long after you’ve gone to Stovocor!

Communicate now, and you’ll receive a coupon to a free night of Klingon Karaoke at

Bodacious Classics Restaurant and Intergalactic Refueling Station

in beautiful Portland, Oregon, Earth!

Order immediately!

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