Hi, I'm Jerry Springer. Couples break up on my TV show all the time, and I wanted to do something to help these people move on to new relationships and rebuild their lives after their nationally-televised humiliation. That's why I've created the Jerry Springer Love Line, a unique online dating service.


My wife was sleeping with my brother while I was in prison, and now that I'm out, she left me. I need somebody to love me the way I love her and make me forget about that two-timing bitch!


Whole lotta love!

I'm a big man with big needs. Race, age, gender not important. Just brace yourself and hold still.


To Janelle

I saw U at a Springer taping where you threw the chair at me and said I was a cancer on all mankind. Since then I just can't get you out of my mind, especially that FINE caboose of yours. And I got to respect a gal with a throwing arm like that. Maybe we could get together for coffee, no hard feelings? My face healed up just fine as you can see. Answer at the box number.


Be a Princess!

Since the satellite TV is coming to us from your so-great nation I have seen many fine and eligible women on the amazing Mister Springer program. So many unhappy women! Ladies, in my native Hungary we never treat our wives like that, not even when we send them out on to the streets to beg. Let me or one of my nine brothers be your prince and take you away from your miserable double-wide trailer lives! Come and travel and become rich and famous with me and the rest of my brothers in our traveling Dwarf Circus, soon to be taking your country by storm! LTR desired, marriage a possibility, especially if our visas are turned down again.


I'm Not Gay!

Hi! Momma says I gotta meet some girls. She thinks I'm gay. I'm NOT! I don't think. Anyway, if you are a girl, maybe you could hang out with me. Come to my house and meet me and my momma! She'll fix dinner and then we can watch some TV or something. I like to watch "Antiques Roadshow" and "Sex And The City" even though Momma says all that dirty sex talk is bad for me.


Are You Man Enough?

New to the dating scene, ever since Bubba took the car and the dog and left me high and dry working graveyard shift waiting tables at the Gas 'N' Go on Route 65. But that's okay, I'm over him, I don't need him OR ANY OF YOU TWO-TIMING LYING BASTARDS, I'M DOING FINE ON MY OWN I GOT MY OWN INCOME AND MY CABLE AND I AM GETTING A NEW DOG! I DON'T NEED ANY GODDAMN PECKER-BRAINED SON OF A BITCH TO MAKE ME HAPPY! NONE OF YOU IS EVER GONNA GET THE BETTER OF ME AGAIN I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON! I BOUGHTEN ME A GUN AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT! Turn-ons: Romance, candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach.


Drag Queen Grandpa Stole My Boyfriend

....and now I'm just AWFUL lonesome. Maybe we could help each other out some.



My boyfriend left me for his dog (it's a male). I need a man who will will put me first.

No pets.


Seeking Poet

I need a man who can speak to the loneliness in my heart and soul, someone who will be my sensual guide to the great twin mysteries of life and love. Someone who knows the nature of Art who can understand the many varied pressures Artists must endure for the sake of their Art. Someone like ...Garth Brooks.


Mom's Best Friend

My mom and I are close. Very close. We share everything, and we need a man who can take care of us. And it would be really cool If you could teach me to drive, cause I want to get my license as soon as I turn 16!


Rock On!!!

Ready for a road trip? Me and my boys are startin' a band and we're gonna be touring. We need some hot young chicks to be our groupies. Must be willing to share expen$es. Owning your own van a plus. Next stop MTV baby! Open minded and ready for adventure? This is the ad for you! P.S. unless you're not HOT. Then don't bother.


My Bed's Still Burning

My shrink says it's okay for me to date now. So, y'wanna, y'know, do it? We gotta wait for the kid to go to sleep though. God how I hate him.


Too much for you

Honey, I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get! Seeking LTR w/ TS, pre-op preferred.


Hey There Mister Trucker!

I know it gets lonely out there on the road. Let me ease your load and you can ride all night! Haha, that was a trucker joke. I love truckers, with their big rigs. Haha, that was another one! Seriously, though, I can show you things you never dreamed. Really. Let's meet. P.S. bring your truck.


I Will Make Your Heart Sing

I made this dress myself. Do you like it? My daddy liked it. Or he would have if he wasn't dead now. Are you my new daddy? Let me show you how Daddy and I used to play together. Until the accident. My last daddy sang pretty. Maybe I can help you sing too.


Jerry Springer Destroyed My Marriage...
And Then Found Me the Love of My Life!

When I sat on the stage of the Jerry Springer show, overcome by shame and humiliation while my wife told me that she was working as a prostitute and was leaving me for her pimp, I thought my life was over. But the Jerry Springer Love Line introduced me to Karen, and I knew my life was just beginning. Today we're happily married, and she even lets me wear her dainties. --Scotty, Davenport IA

My husband found out that I was having an affair with his mom and just about flipped out. The security guys had to carry him away. After he divorced me and threw me out, I didn't know where to go, especially since Rhonda (his mom) wouldn't see me no more. Then I found out about the Springer Love Line. I found Scotty and I've never been happier. His mom's nice, too! --Karen, Davenport IA

Jerry Can Help You Too! Call Today!

Click here for an application!

Credit Where It's Due: This site was mostly written by Greg Hatcher, from a suggestion by Jim MacQuarrie. The photos were stolen shamelessly from a now-dead site called "Ugly People."

Jerry Springer's Love Line is a fictitious work of humor and is not intended maliciously. All names and situations are invented by the writers. Any resemblance to any actual person or organization is entirely accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody, permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988). All photos were found on the internet and are assumed to be in the public domain. The text does not actually describe the people portrayed, nor does it describe any actual people. We made it all up. If you have a problem with any of the content of this page, please check your sense of humor first, and if you still have a problem, send an e-mail to sotw@monkeyspit.net and we'll work it out, okay? Let's leave the lawyers out of this. Please don't sue us; we don't have any money anyway.

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