The Cryogenic Babysitter
From the Cryo-Sitter 3000 series
|If you are in desperate need of an anxiety free night out, this is the perfect product for you! Mr. Frosty is the world's first "no worry" babysitter! This innovation will keep your children safely in suspended animation until your return. This process is completely foolproof, with a lifetime guarantee, that includes a "no frostbite" clause. Mr. Frosty is number one in home based cryogenic child care. If you need to get away, leave your loved ones in the frigid hands of your new arctic attendant!
We know that you are tired of worrying about the babysitters you hire to take care of your children. It is hard to know who to trust these days. But you can always trust Mr. Frosty! Your new polar helper won't run up your phone bill, drink all you liquor, or make out with its boyfriend! Mr. Frosty is reliable, and will take care of those most precious to you.
|Even with dependable help, do your kids still cause mischief when you're gone? Well, your kids will always stay out of trouble when they are safely glaciated! There will be no more household accidents, no more broken lamps. Your teenage daughter won't be having sex while you're gone anymore!!. The children's new chilly custodian will make sure they can't move a muscle!|
|Mr. Frosty makes going out for the night easy and fun once again! This frigid friend of the family will take all your troubles away. No need to leave a list of emergency numbers, because there will be no emergencies! You don't have to waste precious time explaining your kids' food likes and dislikes, bedtime routines, which drawer is Mom and Dad's no-no drawer, or other rules of the house. With Mr. Frosty, when you come home after a night of fun, your children will be exactly how you left them. You will love how cute they look when they are frozen and oh, so quiet. Their new frozen fun tank is also a great place to send your kids for time out, or when you want to spend a little non-interrupted bedroom time with your sweetie!|
|Working your Mr. Frosty is simple and fun. Your child will be placed in the comfortable and fully decorated Mr. Frosty chamber. You close the hatch and engage all the safety features. The chamber then fills with a non-toxic mixture of liquid nitrogen and argon that is lowered to -196 degrees Celsius. Your children instantly go to sleep, dream lovely dreams, and when you get home they awake happy and healthy. * The vault is double walled for maximum protection and refrigeration. This below-zero caretaker is equipped with alarm systems and automatic defrost detectors. Nobody messes with Mr. Frosty!
* Caution: excessive use of Mr. Frosty can result in delayed maturity. Other side effects may include a post-thaw case of the shivers.
|You can order individually sized chambers that are specialized for your child. There is the Abominable Snowman and Ice Age models for boys. For girls you can choose from Eskimo Barbie and My Little Penguin decor. You can also order the All-New Family Sized chamber!! Freeze your loved one's in various Rockwell poses like a lazy evening on the couch and family game night. Paralyze your family in perfect harmony. Order Mr. Frosty today!
You will get a chilly reception from your kids: But this time it's a good thing!
Make the Transition into the ice age with Mr. Frosty!
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