|Through the centuries, we in the Church have always felt that our actions speak louder than our words. For two millennia, we have turned the other cheek as our imagery and icons were misappropriated by everyone from Leonardo da Vinci to Madonna (that other one, not ours). But times change, and in a time where Mickey Mouse has more name recognition than the Almighty, a change is badly needed.
In response to the demands of our ever more trademark-driven society, we have created our own licensing agency to regulate and protect our valuable intellectual properties: VATICOM.
Vaticom will administer all uses of Christian imagery, and will police enforcement of our newly-acquired trademarks.
Vaticom, Christianity's public relations and marketing task force, is branching out in new and exciting ways to bring God's Word to the flock!
We at Vaticom are proud to present a new marketing campaign, which will put the love of Jesus in each and every consumer on the planet Earth! Through a varied mix of unique licensing opportunities, we are confidant that God's message to the masses will be heard. When our Savior finally returns, everyone will know his name, and we will have heaven on earth!
Some of the products and companies we have licensed recently:
|Loaves 'n' Fishes Cereal
Start your day out right with the breakfast Jesus himself would eat. Filled with yummy marshmallow fishes, and wholesome oat grain loaves, Loaves 'n Fishes cereal is the breakfast that lasts the whole day long.
|Noah's Ark Flood Insurance
When you've incurred God's wrath, and your home's been ruined by flood damage, Noah's Ark is here for you. With a little help from the Ark, you and your family will be afloat in no time, and able to weather the storms ahead.
Lot's Wife Salt and Pepper Shakers
Garden of Eden Sunscreen
Star of Bethlehem Compass
Jonah and the Whale Tackle Boxes
Judas Surveillance System
Pope on a Rope
Tree of Knowledge Magic Apple
Jesus and His Disciples Collector Cups
|Shroud of Turin Beach Towels
Bask in the shadow of Christ with these elegantly woven towels. Made to last forever, these perfect beach items make a bold statement whether you're on the beach or at the local pool. Jesus has got your back when it comes to wet summer fun.
Sleep like the dead in these comfy, custom made beds. After a long night of eternal slumber, you'll feel resurrected and full of life!
Burning Bush Charcoal Briquettes
Water Into Wine Instant Drink Mix
Adam's Rib and Steakhouse
|Vaticom © 2002 God. All Rights Reserved.
God, Jesus Christ, the fish symbol and cross are trademarks of the Church, administered by Vaticom. For usage restrictions, please contact Vaticom at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Send this page to a friend!
Part of the Monkey Spit Network!